I wrote this on the 20th January, 2016, two days after my first boy arrived into our lives. It has been almost 5 years since then and I have le much from that process. It feels almost like reading someone else's story now, like a dream, a wonderful dream. I am so grateful that I managed to record the end of it as it is something I cherish and love to look back on. For those who want to see the birth and my recent take on it, follow here.
I have left this mostly unedited (I have added in information to clarify bits), mainly because I think it is important to keep the essence of where I was at in that moment, not only personally but professionally. Please feel free to share your stories below if you wish, we LOVE a birth story here at Birthside.
"I GOT MY HOME BIRTH!!!!
So after beginning early labour on Wednesday and thinking that each twinge and pain was going to lead into the next step, I spent a lot of the time on my yoga ball, walking around and keeping distracted, I learnt that my body is so incredibly amazing and all knowing and no matter what I do or how I try to nudge things along it will do what it is meant to. So after endless support from my family and friends (special shout out to Carmen (a close friend) for being there day and night, Amy (my ex teacher turned friend) for especially preparing me in the early stages, the girlies for the messages of support, my wonderful mommy for believing in me and to everyone who has given me advice and helped us through..)
We got up early on Sunday morning for a frosty walk round the park and each contraction was getting stronger. Once home no matter what I tried I felt things were moving along quickly. We filled up the pool and stayed alone for most of the day, James (partner) keeping me fed and watered and motivated at all times. I read and re-read the affirmations on my wall, I got focused and when I felt things move forward quickly we called the midwives who, after examining me and bump decided they should stay. The wonderful ladies stayed in the kitchen whilst James and I just got on with what we were doing, breathing, massaging, smiling, right up until I was fully dilated and the midwives decided to check in on us again.
And then my body took over and what happened next is a bit of a blur. All I can remember is connecting to little Lake so we could work together to bring him into the world and not taking my hands off James who was my rock through it all! Once crowning, I growled at James for a few breaths of gas and air which I used more as a placebo effect and to dig my teeth into something. I spent an hour pushing him down and the midwives came in to inform me that he was back to back and struggling and if in the next half an hour he wasn't here we'd go into hospital to give him a hand. I looked at James and once he said that we aren't going to need to go into hospital, I had a surge of energy and with him holding onto me (and me him hahah)I brought Lake into this world in the warm pool in our living room.
We waited for a long while just cuddling and then once it had stopped pulsating, Daddy cut the cord and I was able to get out the pool and deliver the placenta. A little shakey and tired and hungry, I had a few tiny stitches, and we lay on the sofa so I could feed my little boob monster! I am eternally grateful to the midwives who really motivated me and kept me going but also reminded me that my body was in control and knew what to do. They didn't intefer unless necessary and let James and I bond with little one before checking him and me over.
It was honestly the hardest thing I've ever had to do but by far the most empowering too. I feel strong and so so in love with this amazing squishy here in my arms.
And the amazing man that is the father of my baby; I have never been more in love with you. I couldn't have got through yesterday or even the past 10 months without your endless unconditional love and support. Thank you for you. And now, I'm off to cuddle some more and not miss another second of this little miracle!